Let’s talk about the seriousness of gaslighting. It is defined as, “manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.” Merriam-Webster defines it as, “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator; Gaslighting can be a very effective tool for the abuser to control an individual. It’s done slowly so the victim writes off the event as a one off or oddity and doesn’t realize they are being controlled and manipulated.” (Melissa Spino) Manipulation, is defined as, “The exercise of harmful influence over others. People who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want. The person doing the manipulating, called the manipulator, seeks to create an imbalance of power. They take advantage of you to get power, control, benefits, and/or privileges.” (WebMD). It’s extremely debilitating for someone who has had to suffer from gaslighting. It is like the frog who starts out in a pan of cold water and then over time the water gets heated, and the frog doesn’t realize he is going to boil to death.

But this is exactly what happens when someone is dealing with gaslighting.

Gaslighting

“This tactic is used by the manipulator to confuse you and make you question your own reality. The manipulation happens when you confront the abuse or lies and the manipulator tells you that it never happened.” But you KNOW it happened. Yet the abuser is telling you it didn’t. Then after awhile they get so good at lying that they even add the guilt, anger or threats. It becomes a game of cat and mouse. It is absolutely harmful. It is psychological. It causes one to question their own mind and the quality of it. It causes one to think they are doing something wrong, by being right. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-manipulation. Gaslighting is cruel and those who have experienced it, must find the right way to combat it. As quick as possible, we must remove ourselves from it. Once we know the reality of the situation and what we are dealing with, we must take the necessary pre-cautions to get free of it. But there is still psychological damage that is done, even after we are free of it. First and foremost, we need to get our sanity back. We need to stand up to the one doing the gaslighting and tell them no more. I refuse to give you any more power over me. You will not be able to control my life any more. We must find peace. When they are confronted, manipulators like to yell a lot. They like to make scenes, because it makes them feel more superior. When in fact, it makes them exactly what they are. It takes courage to walk away. But what price are we paying by staying? Our quality of life is being destroyed, little by little as little bits and pieces of souls are being ripped to shreds. When you know they are lying; when they know they are lying; and when they know that we know they are lying and they still lie; when even their lies are telling lies; it is time to wake up and do something about it. How much time have we wasted and how beaten down are we because of it? We have to disconnect from their power source. They are not our life-line – God is. Does it feel like they are always one step ahead of you? Do you feel like it doesn’t matter what you do, you cannot get in front of it? Disconnect is defined as, “terminate the connection; to become detached or withdrawn; separated.” When you do not pay a bill, they have no problem cutting off your water or your electricity. It is the exact same concept. We must turn off those who gaslight us. It doesn’t matter what they do. It matters now what we do. They will play the victim for getting caught. They will blame us that they were proven wrong. But in their mind, it was our fault that they acted the way they did in the first place. So, they are never left accountable. Stop being the frog who is on its way to getting boiled. Is that what you really want? I know it isn’t what I want. Disconnect from their power source! Research the damage they are doing to you, and how you can find ways to start to heal from it. Your life and mine are that damn important. We deserve better! Stop questioning your own sanity and do something about it. Protect your own heart.

The bible states in Proverbs 4:23

“Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
    that’s where life starts.
Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth;
    avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.
Keep your eyes straight ahead;
    ignore all sideshow distractions.
Watch your step,
    and the road will stretch out smooth before you.
Look neither right nor left;
    leave evil in the dust.” (MSG)

We must leave evil in the dust. We do not want to end up there prematurely. Find ways to disconnect. I realize there are situations where (mostly women) are caught up in cycles of abuse. But please take one step toward your freedom. The following link is to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/. Find your self-worth again. It is defined as, “The meaning of SELF-WORTH is a sense of one’s own value as a human being : self-esteem.” Do you value yourself? Value is defined as, “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.” Do you feel you are important? Do you feel useful? Well, after gaslighting happens, it is hard to feel good about oneself that is for sure. But we must stop giving them our power. I am worthy of love, respect, and happiness. I am worth so much value that Jesus Christ died for me, even when I was yet a sinner. (Romans 5:8) It must mean that the human race is pretty important for Him to do so. We must mean a lot to Father God, even more than we can ever imagine. So please, disconnect from anyone who gaslights you. Your mental, emotional, and physical health depend on it. You may need to talk to a counselor too. There is no shame in that. I talk to one, and she helps me to put things in their proper perspective. I repeat, there is no shame in needing someone to talk to. I have been told on more than one occasion that I need to be put into a mental institution. If I continue to accept the gaslighting, I may just end up in one. So no! I am refusing to accept it any longer. I am finding and learning ways to disconnect. I AM taking my power back. I am leaving evil in the dust!!!

References: www.dictionary.com; https://merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gaslighting; www.biblegateway.com; Google search